Thoughts of an Ardent Fan - one among us?

Thanks to my friend Phani for allowing me to post his article.

This article is an attempt to briefly describe “How does an Ardent Fan think?” 

In this post, I wouldn’t like to name any specific cine personality because I would like you to pay more attention on my views rather than my tastes.  My views are written in the form of questions in italics.

We usually start watching movies in cinema halls right from the age of two though we do not actually understand what is happening over there. In my case, I could understand that in all the movies, there is a powerful man who hits and bashes up the others when I was at the age of five. I just loved to enjoy seeing him bashing all others, no matter whether he is right or wrong. Since I cannot do that in my real life, I co-related myself with the “hitting man” and made him my Dream hero, sub-consciously. When I started understanding the dialogues, it was not only a visual treat but also a feast to my ears as I was enjoying my hero doing all the things which I dreamt of and he is receiving enormous applause in the form of dialogues, by other characters involved in the film. But I enjoyed all the lead roles equally, no matter who is playing it. But when I was doing my primary education, I came to know that “Favorite hero” is very much important to carry out my identity (just like my name, class and the place where I stay).

Now my favorite HERO/STAR came into the limelight. Since that I had to fulfill my identity, I developed my favorite hero. As I was able to compare one hero and another one, I have chosen the one who was entertaining and frequently in touch with my eyes (ie movies). And probably this is what that happens inside our brain when we say, “Nenu ABC ki puttinappati nunchi fan ni or ooha thesina appati nunchi fan ni”.

And since I have already developed my favorite hero, it made myself committed to that person to such an extent that I even started waiting eagerly for his next movie’s release, ignoring other all movies that did not have my hero. But the moment I entered teens, my concentration from the male lead started getting diverted towards the female lead for obvious reasons, and for more obvious reasons that the diversion did not last long.

When I started hearing the words like “Hits/Flops”, I have written a simple algorithm in my mind that anything and everything that is related to My hero is a HIT and everything else is a Flop. Because I considered the word “Flop” as an abuse and I literally couldn’t take it when that filthy tag (flop) is attached to anything that is related to my hero. And subsequently, I even realized that there are some people who work for the movie apart from my standard favorite hero and flexible favorite heroin, such as Director and Music Director.

But still I did not bother to pay attention on them, because I already made my lifelong commitment to my favorite hero and decided that I will watch movies just for him. As I got virtually engaged with my hero, I started liking his off-screen activities as well and made him my inspiration without knowing what he is actually up to in his personal life. In fact, I started liking my hero off-screen more than on-screen. May be because my hero delivers a splendid performance off-screen with readymade polished words (dialogues) to satisfy the pulse of fans. Anything that was talked by my hero in audio functions, public speeches made me more and more emotional. I even started weeping for his speeches. But I later realized that the main reason behind my tears was not positive emotions, but they were due to the Frustration that my hero had become a flop star. After all, I started LIVING FOR MY GOD !!!

I came to know that my hero is not the only hero in industry, but there are many others too. So I started hating all others out of jealousy, or insecure feeling though they are having better success rate than my hero. 

(The term ‘Success rate’ can be manipulated according to my convenience. Let’s say if my hero has more number of hits, I call my hero a successful hero. But if the same hit is tasted by other hero, I term him as “Formula Hero” because I have got no other excuse to defend my hero).

But I never realized that I am surviving on other’s tastes, by calculating the number of hits and flops of any hero. I was so dumb to understand that Hit v/s Flop ratio just determines the number of people who have spent their money in watching the movie in a cinema hall, which practically should not affect my tastes. But since I was suffering from a disease called Ego, I locked up my brain my own dummy thoughts, and never did let any other hero enter into my brain without a “hatred” tag, because I was also suffering from a horrible cancer called INSECURITY, which we often try hard in not showing up directly in all the fields, not just the cinema. 

Finally I sold my brain to the majority and its likes, but interestingly this business did not have any profits. But still I enjoyed the god damn calculations and “good looking figures”. Beware, ‘Figures’ here has got nothing to do with girls. They are the sacred collections of the temple (movie), where my hero is my god. Luvvvv yaaa phurruvvuurrrrrrr. 

When I started recollecting the story behind my fanism, I liked my favorite hero when he entertained me with his movies. The liking gradually went on increasing as he continued to entertain me. But the moment I got myself stopped from being entertained by the same hero, why should I continue to hold the same positive impression which I had once? When my love towards my hero increased by the time he entertained me, why shouldn’t it decrease when he started torturing me with his movies?

Since this question was unanswerable to my imperfect logic, I threw this question away from my brain. Because I made myself so bendable that I even started fighting for the SHIT delivered by my hero by arguing that they are good quality products and desperately convince the so called critics/antis of my hero to wait for my hero’s next Fart. Because, the smell of my hero’s fart is relatively endurable when compared to my hero’s shit, and anything that is a bit endurable is of a great treat to my nostrils (eyes).

But one thing - The stinking smell differs from hero to hero. I find more comfortable and pleasure by moving with the Shit delivered by my hero, than the Fart (a better movie than the Shit) of another hero. The reason is I have got extra ordinarily flavored perfume bottle called FANATICISM which has the capacity to make even the shit smell as good as a perfume, but I cannot enjoy the fart because I do not carry my powerful perfume when I am watching other movie. Perhaps I was more sensible when I was at the age of Five (look at the first paragraph). Because I enjoyed all the movies equally, no matter whether they are good movies, bad, farts or shits. But I think it still can be considered better than liking a shit and a lot better than arguing for Shit and a way better than forcing others to taste and praise my hero’s shit.

If we all have the same love towards our respective lady loves, there would be hardly any Love failures and Divorces.

No love failures because are used to face the ‘rejections’ (by our heroes when they offer us a polished shit and we consume them).

No Divorces because we are accustomed with ‘adjustments’.

Alright!! We have talked so much about our likes and dislikes and the way we manipulate them. Let’s come to other’s tastes, likes and dislikes. This is really a very serious problem with me. I get provoked when someone doesn’t like my favorite hero’s movie. I develop hatred on him for criticizing my hero and hurt when my hero is disliked by some other person and I call him an ANTI, as if the word “ANTI” is an abuse. 

I lack the inch of minimum common sense of liking & disliking, and Loving & Hating – both the pairs are equal kinds of emotions in anywhere and they can be/should be respected/ignored equally depending on how much sense does that make to our sensible brain. 

If he doesn’t like the products of your hero, then why are struggling yourself by running after his ass to feed your actor’s Shit? 

Few good terms I often use/think when I see something against (?) my hero or anything where my hero is not praised. They are “Edupulu, crying, kadupu manta and Antis” (as mentioned earlier). I really lacked all my senses while using them because the one who is expressing his opinion is neither a rival of my hero, nor a producer/distributor of my rival hero’s film. Then what makes him cry? 

When I visit a restaurant, I order an Idly and my friend orders Upma. By this logic; I should start hating Upma or start hating my friend for ordering Upma and for not ordering Idly, or I should keep on eating the same Idly everyday even though I get bored of Idly. Love U Idly foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. But at least here, I find some logic in Idly because it is feeding me. But what is the Hero doing to you? NOTHING!!

Since I do not have an answer for this, I would skip this too. 

Coming to the most interesting, controversial and hated topic for all the fans --

It is interesting because I love to talk and point out other’s faults (?). 

It is controversial because I don’t like my faults to be highlighted along with other’s faults. 

It’s the most hated topic too, because I wear a mask that displays “I HATE CASTE FEELING”. But the reality is I hate someone who exploits my faults, and truth is basically it is not a fault of one individual. 

Let me get it cleared. My liking an actor or a director who belong to my caste, itself is crap (unless I believe that talent has got something to do with caste). Period. 

If I do not belong to that category of liking, it is extremely good. But I have the habit of calling others as “Kula gajji”, and manipulate those tags as per my requirements. When somebody is liking somebody who belongs to his/her caste; Meaning – he is choosing his caste people to have mutual admirations. But I count others castes, and find out their favorites and verify whether they belong to the same caste or not, and have some soft corner if my caste is someone where indulged. I do all the labor work in counting and accounting the castes and castists around me, and I still shout “I HATE CASTE FEELING”. If it’s confusing, then you will understand when you come across such souls. 

But yes. Although I do not have literal caste feeling (called as kula gajji), I possess something called “Vamsha Gajji”, where I don’t mind smelling the Shit of the “DOG OF MY GOD” and sometimes the “GOD OF DOG” accordingly. Just like the “Caste feeling”, even this “Clan feeling” is pretty much flexible.

Well well. This is not the end. I am also developing another kind of feeling called, “Regional feeling”. This is just the beginning and I have already started climbing the tree of success when I started Hating a Hero professionally and personally, not for his films, but for his political stand (for/against) on “My Region”. 

PS: I have used the word “I” in almost all the cases. Read it in a direct speech and see whether you can connect with the article or not. 

Sorry for repeating the words, which might have annoyed you. But considering the present situation of Telugu cinema, the maximum we can expect from a Star is nothing but a “Relatively good smelling Fart”, unless you carry a perfume bottle of Fanism/Fanaticsm in your brain along with you to the cinema hall, as I mentioned earlier. 

All kinds of opinions are appreciated :)

Thanks.

A common man's conundrum

Two friends sitting in a road side hotel are waiting for a person. One of them is Vivek, a student who is doing his Masters from USA and came to India for a one month vacation. The other guy, Sandy, is still looking for a job in India. They were waiting for a person who apparently can be a tiny cause for the big change in Sandy’s life.  After a 15 minute wait, the person arrives. He sits in front of them and Sandy orders Tea. The person, in a simple white shirt and a jeans pant takes out some papers and says “Rs. 500!!”  Sandy starts thinking, Sandy says “Is there any other way out?” The person nods his head in disagreement. Then Vivek speaks “Give us a minute” and takes Sandy out.

Sandy says “I think we should report this.” Vivek takes his I-phone out and dials a number. He speaks for couple of minutes and then goes back to the table they were sitting before with Sandy. He hands the phone over to the person. They hear the person saying “yes sir”. The person then hangs up the phone, gives it back to Vivek and with a grudging smile hands those papers to Sandy showing him the place where he needs to sign. Sandy takes a pen and signs his Passport enquiry form thanking Vivek and his minister Uncle.

Sandy hears his phone ringing and picks it up. It says Vijay calling. He answers the call and says “We are about to start.” Vivek hears Vijay saying “Rush up guys, the bus is about to leave in 15 minutes”. Sandy says “We will be there in 10 minutes.” They get on Sandy’s bike and start.

Its mid afternoon and Santosh is getting frustrated with the heat. His job demands him to stay in the sun for the whole day. He sees two people coming on a motor bike and the guy driving is talking in his cell phone and they seemed to be in rush. Santosh stops them. Sandy pulls his bike aside. Santosh says that talking on cell phone while driving is against law. Sandy starts thinking. Santosh orders them to attend the mobile court and pay the fine. Sandy offers Rs. 50 and requests to let them off as they are in rush and they cannot afford to miss a bus. Santosh, the traffic constable, agrees and leaves them with a strong warning.

Sandy asks Vivek, “Do you think you could’ve done the same in USA?” Vivek replies “Dude, that’s USA, you don’t want to break the law and fall in trouble. I would have stopped you right away if you even try to call someone.”

Sandy sees Vijay calling again, but he doesn’t pick his phone as he can see the crowd and sense that they have reached the place. Vijay comes running towards them and says “The buses are almost full and the lines are too big. You guys took a lot of time.” Sandy for a moment thinks of explaining the traffic incident but then decides not to. Sandy asks “So, what do you think we should do. We can’t back out now.” Vijay says there is a way out and takes them to the buses where a big line of people were waiting to get into the bus.

Vijay points towards few people in the line and says,” Do you see those people, they offer help. They stand in the lines for the whole day but they don’t get into the bus. They are here for people like us who cannot stand in the line. You give them Rs. 100 and you get the place in the queue. I have already paid them. We can be in the bus in couple of minutes.” They all give a sigh of relief.

Finally, they are in the bus. They are going to be part of one of the greatest achievements of the history. They are going to live up a dream. Vivek feels his one month vacation is going to have more than it’s worth. Sandy thinks this can change the fate of many jobless people like him. They reach their destination point. They get down the bus and walk along with the thousands of people under a big banner.

The banner says “SUPPORT ANNA HAZARE. STOP CORRUPTION”

From commited to married

This was written in December 2010 before I left for my wedding.

Sitting at the Los Angeles airport, I recollect the previous 3 months, the time after I got committed to Madhuri. In these four months I planned to do a lot of things, succeeded in doing some and failed in completing other tasks.  The day I was coming back to US after my short successful trip to India, I had set myself some short term goals. Few of those were making Madhuri comfortable with my life style and vice versa, making wedding arrangements, create a completely personalized wedding invitation and a wedding website , and ofcourse shopping and shopping.

I and Madhuri got engaged in a very short span of time. We haven’t got much time to interact with each other. The sole reason of me being adamant in having my wedding after at least 3months of my engagement was to give ourselves some time to get to know each other. If I check myself at this point after 3 months, I feel I’ve achieved what I wanted. I got to know more than a few things about her in this period.  I never wanted a girl who always says “Yes” to whatever I say.  She was supporting, motivating and also correcting me whenever she felt doing so.  *Touchwood*.

In these 3 months, we both had our Birthdays. First Birthdays are always special. Since her Birthday was on 3^rd and mine on 13^th, I got a chance to unleash my creativity first. In one of our conversations, I got to know that one of her most prized gifts was a DVD of Athadu movie by her friends. If a DVD can make her feel so happy then how about a more personalized gift? Idea flashes. Thanks to my friends I was able to get an autograph from her favorite hero. Well, that wasn’t enough. I thought this would be the best occasion for me to introduce all my friends to her. Instead of pictures I’ve chosen videos. I asked all my friends and cousins to record a video wishing her. By evening my email was flooding with the videos coming from all the directions of USA. All I had to do was to compile them and make one video. I was glad to have friends and cousins who are ready to help me any time of the day. Love you all.

Then it was 13^th, my Birthday. Two days prior to my Birthday I started getting gifts. Initially, a T-shirt and a Watch, the next day a cake and on the actual day a nice picture of both of us on a beautiful glass frame. The fact that Madhuri made the arrangements of me receiving the gift one each day thrilled me. Well, thanks to her Aunt and cousins for making my day special.

After the Birthday bashes, it was the time for some serious commitment on the wedding plans. I always wanted to have my wedding invitation special. Owing to the wide circle of my friends all over India I wanted my invitation to be in different languages. If I have to include different languages then instead of arranging them randomly I thought of arranging in them in the place of their respective states in India map. Then it was the time to decide the line. I found it tough to zero down on one line since many lines were popping out in my brain. Finally I’ve decided on having “We welcome you on our wedding” as the line. Thanks to Bhavna (Kashmiri), Randip (Punjabi), Hiral (Gujrathi), Shreyasi (Bengali), Swapnil ( Marathi), Sandhya (Kannada), Abhi and his roomie(Malayalam), Vidya ( Tamil) and an  lecturer whose name I don’t know for Sanskrit, I was able to compile all these languages into one card. Then thanks to Pallavi Roy, who gave me some beautiful lines from her wedding card and let me use them in my card. Finally, thanks to Charitha in creating a beautiful background for the picture I wanted to have in my card.

Once the wedding card was done, the next task I wanted to accomplish was to create a wedding site. I didn’t want to use the wedding templates which many of the wedding websites offer. I wanted my website to have my own mark on it.  Being a guy with a non IT background, it was indeed a big ask for me to create a whole website. After some research I decided to do my website using Word press. Thanks to Sunil for suggesting me the places where I can buy domain names and web space. The name for my website struck me instantly. It will obviously be a combination of both of our names but not in a regular way. Deeplymad was the name which came into my thought. But, unfortunately, it was taken I had to settle with Deeplymadz which was equally good for me. The process of creating the website took me more than a month. The reasons being me a rookie, not much information available online and top of it my lazyness. Eventually, with the help of Abhi, Phani and some anonymous websites, I finished my creation. The link for the website is www.deeplymadz.com

These were the things which I have achieved successfully in these 3 months. The unfinished tasks were getting rid of my lazyness , putting up some weight and trying to save money by keeping a tab on my spending. 

Post marriage confessions

March 25 2011. Its been exactly 100 days since I got married. Did my life change? Well, I'd say yes. If I say no then I'd be cheating myself. Since change is the only constant thing in this world I'd not regret this change. To put it in a more positive way I can say I have adapted myself to the variations brought into my life after wedding. Before I jump onto the list of changes and amendments I made to myself let me confess that this is my first post after 4 months.

The first notable change I made in my life is start practicing the word "We" instead of "I". Any update I had to give while at home it had to be We. We finished dinner, we are watching a movie, we are planning to go out. It was initially tough but later on got used to it now. Don't ask me why the word We is not seen in this blog. This blog and this post is about changes in me not us.

The next thing was about sharing. Sharing has become an important part of my life after wedding. The things which I used to feel so trivial to talk about have also become  points to share. I have learnt in these 100 days that the more you share the more you will make your partner happy. Initially I wasn't successful but as days went by I  adjusted myself.

Food was never my priority and cooking was my least favorite work. Thanks to marriage, I don't have to cook anymore and I eat freshly made food everyday unlike old days when I used to cook and store food for couple of days.

The most important change I found in myself was spending less time online. I used to be online all the time when I'm at home. I'd attribute this change as being more responsible. Responsible for the person who has come all the way from India to USA with just one thought in mind that I will be there for her all the time. So, I had to cut down my times being online.The other changes which need to be mentioned are knowing about hospitals as Madhuri got sick in the first week of her arrival, where to buy stuff for home not room, and interior decoration and finally I've started to maintain accounts.

These 100 days were more of a adjusting period where I was trying to understand her and making her understand me. There were differences as they ought to be, since we were two different persons. With two persons living together, sharing everything there needs to be some compromises made and as I always say happily compromised is the highest achievement possible. Achieve it and you will be ever happy.